Fighting with loved ones

The one thing that has got to be the worst thing ever is fighting with the one you love, especially if you both are hard headed. Today I got some really bad news that my mom was transported down to another hospital because her heart test turned out not so good. So once I got this message all I wanted to do was call my man and let him know, knowing that he couldn't do anything, but I was just hoping for some comfort. My family has always been really healthy and I really didn't know how to take my mom being sick. So I called him because he was not working today and he didn't answer the phone so I called him back again and then again so try and get his attention to answer the phone because I really needed to just talk to him. He has always been my rock and I just needed that from him. So the next thing I get from him is a text message asking me "what", so I quickly call him back thinking that he was right there by his phone. He didn't answer again so I left him a nasty message about my mom and said thanks alot. Well then later he called me at work and I was busy and he said to call him when I wasn't busy, but to be quite honest I didn't really want to talk to him, he let me down. Well then I went on my lunch and texted him saying that I really didn't want to talk to him right now and he gets all mad at me say that I was being ridiculous. Maybe I was but I was scared and let down so that didn't matter to me. So I decided to talk to him, cause I wanted to find out why he didn't answer his phone. I told him that didn't he think that something was wrong since I called him three times right in a row, I don't do that normally. He said he didn't think anything of it because he was busy talking to his brother on the phone. I said couldn't you of clicked over to maybe find out why I was calling this much and he said that he couldn't do that either because then he would lose his call to his brother. He knew that my mom was going to be having a heart test today, so I guess I thought that maybe I would be on his mind and not his brother. I really don't know what to think or what to even say to him. I am very hurt and confused. I guess I am writing this so that maybe just maybe it would help me figure out what to do. I know that I should let it go but it is very hard too, knowing that he couldn't put me first for the day. I don't know maybe that is being selffish now.

Well on a good note my mom is going to be able to leave the hospital tomorrow and should be to her old self in 3-4 days. They put something into her artery to open it up and stop the blockage that was causing her pain. She ended up having 95% blockage in one of her arteries, thank goodness it wasn't anything more. And thank goodness that she went and got is checked out when she did. I took the day off tomorrow and I am going to spend the day with my mom and help her get around. I can't wait to see her!!

Five for Five

1) Five Minutes to yourself. How would you spend them ideally?
Sit at my sewing machine and work on the quilt that I am making.

Go for a walk.

Sit and watch tv.

Take a nap.

Take a nice hot bath.

2) Five Dollars to spend right now. How or where would you spend it?
Dunkin Donuts for a nice ice coffee.

Packs of gum.

Chapstick for the upcoming winter.

Candy.

Gossip magazine.

3) Five Items in your house you could part with right now?
BILLS

Old Magazines.

An old chair that my dog chewed on.

Pieces of carpet that my dog dug up.

My very very old computer.

4) Five Items in your house you absolutely, positively could never part with?
Pictures.

My Dressers.

My Shoes. (the few I have left)

My Dishes.

My Jewelry.

5) Five Words you love?
Baby.

Iloveyou.

Vacation.

Paradise.

Weekend.

5 people I will tag...

Don't really know anyone on the blog so there is no one to tag.

My one stable LOVE

Well a couple of months ago I found myself starting over......again! This time by myself. I had to make a huge decision to give up my dog, Roxy. This was the biggest decision that I have had to make in a long time. I spent many nights crying about what would be right for her and me. She has been the one stable thing in my life since I moved back to Michigan. I have a small one bedroom apartment and a dog that deserves to be outside running around, which is something that I couldn't give her with my crazy schedule. After beating myself up over whether I could let her go, I finally did it. The date was June 30th, and my mom and I drove all the way out to Battle Creek to give my dog away. I don't know what I would of done if my mom wouldn't have come with me. I think about her everday and just hope that she is happy and running around being the wonderful dog that she was for me. I MISS YOU ROXY AND WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

Long Lasting Friendships

Unfortunately, I got some bad news last week. It was my best friend in high school's mom had past away from cancer, quickly. That had to have been the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in a long time. And what got me the most is the fact that I haven't really talked to this girl since the last christmas us "girls" spent together. I really felt like shit not keeping in touch with her and not knowing what was going on in her life. I always got the information from one of my other friends that has always kept in touch with everyone. I thought that, was good enough, and I am hear to say that it is NOT. No matter how we feel we should never let anything come in between our friends. To be very honest, they are the ones who are always going to be there for us no matter what. I know in my life that I have done some stupid things and my friends were always there to support me. So why do I take them for granted sometimes? That is just wrong! I guess this is going to my new year resolution (in March) for the rest of my life. To always take time for my friends, THE GOLDEN GIRLS, Lindsey, Niki, Kay, and Danielle. These girls have definately had a great deal of influence in my life. And will continue to have a great part of it. I love you all and I hope that we can continue our bond in friendship until the end!